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Snakey last won the day on October 2 2018

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  1. BREAKING: LSPD asks innocent man attempting to cross road: 'Can I see a license for that?' The LSPD has recently developed a new method of stopping criminals dead in their tracks using only one simple question. Author: Raymond Barone (Part-time Paramedic; Freelance Journalist) @rayray42069 Published: JANUARY 12, 2020 17:03 Image: Police pictured enjoying a fresh cup of jo while glancing at a photographer, resisting the urge to ask for his license. Image source: Offices of the Los Santos Police Department have began utilising a recently introduced method of crime prevention and situational deescalation over the past month. Surprisingly, this method does not involve the use of firearms, hand cuffs or dangerously fast vehicles, the method only requires officers to ask one simple question: 'Can I see a license for that?'. The question slightly differs between offers and context, for example 'Do you have any documents for that?' or 'Do you have a permit for that?', but the question, and all its derivatives, are so powerful it can stop even the most dangerous of criminals. Greg Nugget, with an extensive criminal record and recent conviction for Armed Robbery and Murder, when asked how the police managed to stop him from robbing Pacific Standard Bank, release hostages, and surrender, said: '...the heist was perfectly planned, I had guns, lots of guns, and hostages, one of them was a really hot chick too. I was gonna use them to get out, then kill em all! But, as soon as the police negotiator asked me for my license to rob the bank, I immediately realised, I didn't have one! I couldn't believe it, how could I have forgotten to get my bank robbing licence? I was so embarrassed, I just surrendered, I couldn't do it anymore.' A newly released report by the Los Santos Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research indicates just how effective the question is. Post-implementation, the 90% of criminals surrendered after being asked the question. Federal Agent Blake Sanderson, when questioned about his experience using the questions, confidently stated: 'It's so good! When you pop the question, just staring into the blank eyes of criminals as they question their life choices, that's what I live for. It's an absolute mind f***!' Researchers and analysts criticise the use of the question. Arguing police ask for licences where one is not legally required as a means of strong-arming and intimidating individuals, both innocent and guilty. Raising concerns it breaches principle of procedural fairness and the rule of law, principles which form the foundation and a fair and just justice system.
  2. Very accurate, well written, and easy to navigate. A must-read for new players. Kudos to the author.
  3. The forum application process is no longer utilised. Applications posted here will not be processed. Please apply in-game at any job centre.
  4. TUTORIAL: WHEN AND HOW TO FILE A PLAYER COMPLAINT [1] WHEN A PLAYER COMPLAINT IS NECESSARY Forum-posted player complaints are a method by which players can report another player for breaches of Fat Duck Gaming's ('FDG') Los Santos Life Australia ('LSLA') FiveM server rules, or a breach of in-character laws or Standard Operating Procedures ('SOPs') by employees of the Los Santos Police Department ('LSPD'), Blaine County Sheriffs Office ('BCSO') or Los Santos Emergency Services ('LSES'). The two categories of liable individuals will be reflected in the distinction between Out-of-Character Complaints ('OOC Complaints') and In-Character Complaints ('IC Complaints'). Note, any in-character complaint against an individual not employeed by the aforementioned organisations should be directed to the respective business CEO, or in the event of criminal claims, the Police department. Below are examples of when an OOC Complaint may be neccesary, however this is not an exhaustive list: The player reported against ('the accused') has shown continued disregard for server rules. It is important to note this DOES NOT include LSLA in-character legislation, department or job Standard Operating Procedures ('SOPs') or department or job rules and guidelines (see below for IC Complaints). The accused has abused a position of power held on the server or in the community (for staff complaints, go here). The accused has breached, at any point, continuously or not, our policy on harassment, insults, threats and community respect (see sections 5 and 7 of the rules). The accused has acted in violation of FDG's Content Creator Guidelines. The accused has breached the FDG Website Rules. Below are examples of when a IC Complaint may be neccesary, however this is not an exhastive list: The player reported against ('the accused') has shown continued disregard for company or organisational policy, SOPs or expected conduct. The accused has abused a position of power held in the company or organisation. The accused has commited a crime under Los Santos criminal or civil law. DISCLAIMER: IF THE ACCUSED HAS COMMITTED AN OFFENCE UNDER AUSTRALIAN ACTS OF LAW, AGAINST YOU, OR SOMEONE IN THE COMMUNITY, YOU ARE URGED TO CONTACT STAFF IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU FEEL UNSAFE, YOU SHOULD IMMEDIANTLY SPEAK TO A TRUSTED ADULT OR CONTACT LOCAL POLICE. FAT DUCK GAMING ('FDG') WILL PASS ON INFORMATION TO LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ON REQUEST. [Note: When in-game, you should request staff via '/report' in chat for on-the-spot assistance. Despite every effort being made to ensure player complaints are dealt with in a timely manner, this may not always be the case in certain circumstances ] [2] HOW TO FILE A PLAYER COMPLAINT To file a player complaint, adhere to the following procedure, You will need a Fat Duck Gaming Forums account to proceed. Need a forums account? Go to and 'Sign Up'. (1) Head over to the player complaints page on the forums, located under 'Application Forms' in the navigation bar. (2) Determine whether your complaint is an 'OOC Complaint' or 'IC Government Complaints', and select the correct sub-forum (see above for differentiation between the two). (3) Hit 'Add New Complaint', located in the top right of the page . Title your complaint as follows: (see examples below) "[The Accused] - [Rule(s) breached]" for OOC Complaints, or "[First Last Name] - [Callsign] - [Agency]" for IC Complaints. OOC Complaints: "Peach - RDM" "Joe - Powergaming and Suicide to avoid RP" "Brad - Breaking character" IC Complaints: "Geoff Stary - [4C-87] - LSES" "Cal Amari - [C-09] - LSPD" "Ben Mash - [County 42] - BCSO" (4) Select category "LSLA". (5) In the content field, you must use the following layouts, failure to comply with the Complaint Guidelines may result in your complaint being automatically rejected (see below) (see this player complaint). OOC CHARACTER COMPLAINTS LAYOUT Offender Name: Offender Discord#xxxx (If applicable): Accused of rules: (List each rule in a new line) Description of event: Witnesses: Evidence*: IC CHARACTER COMPLAINTS LAYOUT Form: Your Name: FIRST LAST Contact Details: Discord#9998 Mobile: #98765 Offender Name: FIRST LAST Offender Callsign (If Known): CALLSIGN-1 Offender Discord#xxxx (If applicable): BadCrop#9876 Department: City/County/SWAT/AFP/VET/Commissioner's Office/LSES Accused of: Description of event: Witnesses: Evidence: *NOTE: If video evidence is submitted, which is highly preferable, at least 2 minutes worth of game play prior to the accused act(s) or omission(s) must be provided. (6) Once complete, hit 'Save'. Your complaint will be posted and Staff or High Command Members will begin their investigation. [3] HOW COMPLAINTS ARE TREATED LSLA Administrators, Community Managers, Leaders and LSPD, BCSO and LSES High Command ('Authorised Member's) treat every complaint equally and fairly. Authorised Members attending to these complaints play the role of an unbiased decision maker, applying server rules to the facts presented to them, and holding those who fall below the threshold of acceptable conduct expected and demanded by the community accountable. If the facts of a case lack clarity, or are subject to conflicting evidence, Authorised Members will take an active role in attempting to find the true facts of the case, however Authorised Members do not have unlimited resources at their disposals and are subject to many difficulties during this process, sometimes leading to delayed responses or even no verdict. Authorised Members take these complaints very seriously, and hence expect the same level of seriousness and effort in the complaints recieved. An appeals process exists and can be accessed by contacting an Authorised Member. Need more information? Contact staff on Discord for further clarification. That's it Written by Snakey. Last updated 3 July 2019 at 10:50 AEDST. Subject to change without notice. This tutorial may, at any time, become outdated and inaccurate.
  5. Dear Elizabeth Summers, your application for a position in the LSES Ambulance Division has been accepted! Welcome to the team, you've been designated the following call sign: Cadet [4C-39]  Contact a Paramedic+ to organise basic training, remembering a member of High Command will need to finalise your training. However, feel free to head on duty if no one is available to train. Our Handbook has helpful information to get you started, and don't be afraid to ask for help in the #LSFD_Staff chat. Regards,  D.Director Barone, on behalf of LSES High Command  [OOC Notice: You will need to have your rank assigned in game before being able to play, ask for assistance in game by using /report in chat. If an admin requires proof, direct them to the EMS Training Roster, or politely ask them to contact @Snakey, @Plasma43, @PumparN, @DrDre or @Moogle] Locked and Archived
  6. Sanderson Carter Law - Organisation Application ***The following information is preliminary, hence subject to change and governed by our 'Terms of Service' (TOS). ^^^This project was initiated by Kn0pee and Snakey [1] Who We Are Here at Sanderson Carter Law, we are all about making the city fair. Too long has the city of Los Santos been without a proper legal system. As it stands currently, the LSPD are the writers, enforcers and interpreters of the law, without any separation of power. We intend on working with government agencies and the broader community to minimise the unjust concentration of power the LSPD holds, by separating the responsibilities within Los Santos’ justice system. Sanderson Carter Law was founded by Harvey Sanderson and Samuel Carter. Harvey Sanderson works on the business, keeping it in the green by cutting deals, getting clients and managing the firm as a whole. Born in 1979, he has more than 15 years of running a business under his belt. Before founding Sanderson Carter, he worked for an big firm in New Jersey, but felt his skills of management were underappreciated, so moved to Los Santos to start up his own firm. He is a ruthless businessman, who will stop at nothing for his clients Samuel Carter is the genius behind all of our cases. He specialises in getting people out of every situation, big or small. He is regarded as the best lawyer in the country, and has an unprecedented comprehension of Los Santos’ justice system. His experience began at 18 years of age, when he successfully sued his mother for slandering him on FaceBook. Soon after, he secured a position at R&B Lawyers. Ten years later, he transferred to the judiciary, becoming a judge specialising in property and family law. In 2011, he left the judiciary and co-founded Sanderson Cater Law. [2] Our Intentions [2.1] Our team of dedicated solicitors, barristers and lawyers will be able to assist you in defending yourself, by ensuring your rights are upheld and justice is being achieved. We will represent you for any case big or small, from jaywalking to espionage (Subject to our TOS). [2.2] We intend to draft and submit for consideration, legislation which will outline the rights and responsibilities of individuals when dealing with law enforcement officers. This will help both civilians and the LSPD, by creating an enforceable threshold of acceptable conduct from both parties. [2.3] We will enable and provide the legal framework for resolving disputes of the corporate/private law nature, including contract, tort and property. We work off a three step dispute resolution process, where we attempt to resolve disputes in a cost effective, time efficient and just manner: Negotiation → Conciliation → Arbitration (Court). [3] Founding Sanderson Cater Law was established in 2011, where we operated out of a small rundown house in Davis, Los Santos. We started out working small misdemeanor cases like red light offences and speeding tickets, until our big break when we were approached by Shannon Noll to represent him after he was found going 153 km/h in a 60 zone. After getting him off with a verbal warning our credibility and fame skyrocketed. Now we are based in Downtown Los Santos, and handle all cases big and small. We have got murder charges reduced to foul language, felony evasion down to jaywalking. We represent hundreds of clients, all over Los Santos. [4] Famous Past Cases Kane West v The City of Los Santos (2012) [SC] {Sanderson Carter Law represented Mr West.} After tripping and falling on an unmarked uneven footpath, Mr West broke his jaw and nose. Mr West then sued for damages as he could no longer use his voice in a manner that would generate him income, as he had been doing for years prior to the incident. The judge found that The City of Los Santos failed in their duty of care to either fix and adequately mark the uneven surface, resulting in Mr West’s personal injuries, loss of earnings due to cancelled or altered trips, and loss of future income. The City of Los Santos was ordered to pay Mr West 10.9 million dollars in compensation. R v Lawson Blake (2013) [DC] {Sanderson Carter Law represented Mr Blake} Mr Blake was charged with possession and intent to sell after BCSO officers pulled him over on Los Santos Freeway. The reason for pulling Mr Blake over was officially recorded as a random breath test (RBT), however when the accused exercised his rights and requested the officers identify themselves, the officers ordered Mr Blake out of the vehicle, threatening arrest. Mr Blake exited the vehicle without conflict and the officers proceeded to search the vehicle, finding 90g of weed tucked under the back seat. During trial, the officers claimed Mr Blake’s request for identification gave them reasonable cause to search the vehicle, however the judge decided the search was conducted without probable cause and hence, illegally. Mr Blake was acquitted of all charges. Slovlak Mafia v Vanilla Unicorn (2016) [SC] {Sanderson Carter Law represented the Slovlak Mafia} After a long night at the Vanilla Unicorn, members of the Slovak Mafia began receiving phone calls 8 months later from employees of the Unicorn claiming “their child is due within the next month”. After negotiation between parties, it was discovered that the members of the mafia did not use protection, however an employee of the Unicorn told them on the night in question that “all employees are protected, it isn’t necessary for you to be (smiles seductively)”. The mafia also raised the issue, how is it known that the mafia were the fathers considering the nature of work conducted by the employees in question. During trial, the judge found that the employees of the Unicorn delivered false and misleading information, and illegally conducted DNA tests. Nik Roe’s organisation was awarding 15 million in damages and the names of the mafia members were removed from the birth certificates of the children. [5] Important Locations Main Office Our main office is where we will do most of our work. This includes meeting clients, storing important documents and conducting depositions. Conveniently it also has a parking garage next door, for staff and visitor parking, as well a Bean Machine branch on the ground floor for some coffee. It is located on Vespucci Blvd and Alta St, Pillbox Hill, Los Santos. Courthouse The city courthouse is located on Occupation Ave and Elgin Ave, Alta, Los Santos. This will be used for big cases, such as murder trials and corruption cases. [6] Additional Information Additional information can be found on our Discord portal: Please note the Discord portal is not entirely complete Additional Information includes but is not limited to: Roster and Roles (We're hiring!) Employee Information Sanderson Carter Law values the community, please leave us any feedback or opinions you have so we can better our service. Our 'Terms of Service' (TOS) and 'Standard Operating Procedure' (SOP) are not yet complete and hence, are not yet available to the public. This project has the potential for expansion into more corporate/civil services, for example insurance, loans and debt collection.